My Story About Being Bullied

I had to leave my old school because of bullying. It was a very difficult time for me with lots of emotions and uncertainties. But seven months have passed now, and I am happy at my new school. I also feel that I have a better perspective. Here is my story.

At first, I thought A and B were nice and fun. I wanted to be friends with them. Then they started with small annoying things, like calling me a nerd. I brushed it off, thinking that they were just being friends. But their behavior gradually became worse, like throwing a pencil case to my face, telling me that I look ugly, sending me a paper slip that said, "I love you” on the front and said “sike, L, bozo" on the back, which means “kidding, loser, bozo.”

In a class, the teacher noticed something was wrong and let me work in the counselor’s suite. After class had ended, A and B followed me all the way to the counselor’s suite. When I was sitting down, they said, “sit down if you’re racist,” and when I stood up to leave, they said, “stand up if you’re racist.” I told them to stop again and again but that didn’t work. I felt helpless against the two of them. I told my parents what happened, and they decided to ask for help from the teachers. All the teachers agreed that the girls’ behavior was unacceptable. They talked to A and B. I thought it would all stop there.

The next day, A came looking for me during lunch, bringing C. In front of everyone, C started yelling at me “F YOU!” and yelling how she hates me and my name. People also showed me C’s Snapchat story where she and her friends were ganging up against me, calling me a snitch, and swearing at me. They started spreading lies that I had sent them to the principal’s office just for them calling me a bozo, calling me sensitive. Over the next few days, my classmates started and continued to glare at me. My group members in class would ignore me. I got pushed in classrooms. I couldn’t go to school anymore. I moved to a new school but kept it a secret about which school I moved to.

From what I heard, they kept inquiring about which school I went to. I blocked A, B, and C on SNS, but I still received messages through their friends, including a picture from A with her middle finger. These incidents still made me nervous about bumping into them around the town, even though I left the school. One day when my family came home from dinner, we found a piece of paper on our front door. There was a handwritten message saying “I’m sorry. A, B, C.” I have not received any more messages from them. I still wonder what may have caused the sudden change in their behaviour.

Throughout this traumatic experience, I could understand why some people even kill themselves after asking for help in these situations. The victims often get blamed for seeking help, labeled as a snitch. Bullies tend to be the popular ones with many friends. Bullies always say they were just being friends, just little pranks, calling victims sensitive. It was unfair and I felt helpless. However, the apology note made me think that even the bullies may not be so bad by nature. We are just young, and they may not understand the consequences of their actions.

One thing that may be helpful is a school program like Dare to Care, teaching that these behaviours are not acceptable and not cool. It may prevent victims from getting blamed by the rest of the students in the class. I just hope my experience and this write-up can help raise awareness.

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Afterword by Lisa Dixon-Well, M.Ed., Founder and Executive Director of Dare to Care.

I am grateful to S. for reaching out to us to share her story. Her experience with bullying is reflective of what many students experience, including cyberbullying, victim blaming, and powerful feelings of isolation and despair. She also shares how important and healing an apology can be, something that we emphasize and include in our program. What also stands out to me in her account is that the teachers and administrators in her school observed her distress and tried to help her but didn’t succeed because the larger school community, the “silent majority,” wasn’t mobilized to recognize bullying behavior and equipped with the knowledge and skills to stand together against it. If you’re ready to make a cultural shift in your school, and transform the “silent majority” into the “caring majority,” more information about our virtual program can be found here: https://www.daretocare.ca/virtual-learning-program